Marnie's Diary Chapter 2

March 13^th

The morning light bounced off the hard, granite countertops and painted my kitchen a hazy white. My morning cup of coffee sat, steaming, next to my hands as they rushed feverishly along the keys to finish my essay. I glanced down at my watch. Only ten minutes until Johnny came to pick me up. I was never going to finish this before class today and Anon was already keeping a close eye on me. A purplish bruise throbbed at my wrists as I continued to type. My professor had noticed it there just the other day when I handed in my weekly column. He asked me how I got it - of course I lied.

“Girl!” The miserably, gravely voice made me jump as his dark shadow loomed around the corner. It was too early for him, so he trudged over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup as he wiped his other hand over his polished head. He was dressed in his Sunday best, though it wasn’t Sunday. He always was.

I closed my laptop and looked at him. I opened my mouth to answer him, but nothing came out. My uncle Walter was responsible for the bruise that throbbed on my wrist. He was responsible for every bruise, cut, scar, and scratch on my body. It had been that way since my parents died.

I watched him take a sip of his coffee, the thin sores he had for lips forming to the brim of the mug. He looked down at the steaming, black liquid and sneered up at me. I froze where I sat and swallowed thick and a tiny growl escaped just from behind his teeth. I knew that crazy look in his eye too well and I felt the skin along my arms start to prickle.

“W-what’s the matter?” I struggled. I glanced over to the front door. I begged there to be a knock. Anything to save me.

“Made it a little strong today, girl.” He said between a tight grit. “You know what that means?”

I watched as he reached his hand around behind him to grab a large bread knife out of the wooden holder on the counter top. I saw my face reflected back to me as the white sunlight glinted off the metal. He gripped it hard in his fist as he started to approach me, but my legs felt like led. There was absolutely nothing I could do except scream. I did. I closed my eyes and I screamed and screamed and –

“Marnie!”

My eyes shot open then, but as the room came back into focus and I saw where I really was, my violent grip on the bed sheets loosened. Matted, red curls stuck to my neck, drenched with a cold sweat. I had fallen asleep at Raphael’s house last night, not realizing just how late I had been working.

He was now looming over me in the bed, gaping at me, eyes just as wide as mine were. I blinked at him and sucked in a breath finally as he put one of his gloved hands on my face. Always gloved. I pulled it away.

“I’m fine. I-“ exhausted I let my head roll backward onto the pillow. I had to go home, was what I was going to say. The thought of what Walter would do to me when I got there was my real nightmare. And Johnny would be there soon anyway, knowing exactly why I wasn’t there waiting for him. I felt Raphael’s eyes still on my face so I rolled my head to one side when I felt the tears starting, so that he wouldn’t see.

“You were dreaming.” He said matter-of-factly. Because Raphael was what he was, it meant that he had no real emotion. He wasn’t like a human being in the way he reacted. Sometimes the hollowness of his tone was unnerving, because all I wanted to hear was genuine warmth so that I could possibly feel safe again. But he could never be that for me. Every emotion; every smile, every grimace, every frown was derived from me. That was how he sustained himself. He consumed my emotions so that he could feel any sort of liveliness again at all. That was why he wore those stupid gloves - why he didn’t ever want to be too close to me. Because eventually…it would kill me.

I bit down on my lower lip, angrily wiping away the tear from my face. I didn’t want him to feel that – the sadness. “I have to go.” I said.

I felt the impression of the bed lift as he reappeared standing next to me on the floor. I got out of the bed too and started out of the room and down the stairs. Of course he was already there when I reached the bottom floor, staring sadly at me. I rushed over to the coffee table where my notebook was still lying and starting picking up my things, stuffing them into my school bag. I felt his large hand grip my arm then and I stopped what I was doing.

He leaned in, his lips close to my ear. “Stay with me.” He whispered. I felt the ends of his long hair brush softly across my cheek.

I felt my eyes swell when I looked at him again. He had no idea how badly I wished I could stay. I wished that I would never go back to my reality. I wanted to bulldoze my real world and burn the ruins with Walter still inside. But I could feel the onset of his side affects begin already. I dropped my gaze and backed away, not because I didn’t want to face him, but because my eyes felt so heavy that the room had begun to tilt. “It’s worse for me if I don’t leave.” I admitted, covering the bruise on my wrist.

He let my arm go and I finished putting my things back into my bag. I didn’t say goodbye. I never needed to say goodbye to Raphael, because I never knew when he was really with me during the hours of my day. I walked over to the door, opening it, until I felt some invisible force push it closed again. He grasped my shoulders and turned me so that my back was against the rest of the world and leaned in close to my face again, so close this time, that our lips were only two impulses apart. I could feel the pull begin, like it always did whenever I was around him longer than I should be. It made my heart slow down. I suspected that was supposed to be a kiss. Just the smallest piece of my soul that he took in that moment - the feel of the pulling sensation. That was kissing an incubus.

His icy, blue eyes bore into mine, saddened. “I’ll let you go now.” He said.

I nodded.

He brushed the hair from my face with one of his leather hands, smiling then. “I am sorry Marnie.”

I shook my head at him, but didn’t respond to that. “I’ll come over after class.” I insisted.

He stepped away from me and said, “But when you least expect it…I am there.”

I smiled once at his solemn face before I rushed outside, sucking the fresh air into my lungs, hoping that it may clear away my leftover dizziness. The thickness of his pull was beginning to become too much and if he kept me in there any longer, there would be another serious medical problem, like some others occurring in my town. Main Street, though never really congested, seemed much quieter recently.

I glanced down at my watch. 9 o’ clock on the dot. “Damn.” I mused. I was already late. At that moment, I looked up past the black gate to see Johnny emerge from behind one of the pillars. His face, though always warm, looked a little panic-stricken that morning. I ran over to him, just as the gate began opening automatically.

“You are in so much trouble.” Johnny frowned and then turned his focus to the gate that had now started to close again. “Is this thing like, automatic or something?”

“Uh, yeah.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Raphael’s face watching me through the window that it had been the day before. It disappeared instantly when I locked eyes with him.

“Marnie, I don’t know what you’re going to do. Walter looked furious when I went to get you this morning. I don’t think you should go back there.” Johnny said, taking me by the arms. He was the only one who knew the reality of my home life. I looked at him, not knowing what to say as I felt this huge lump begin to form at the base of my throat.

Later, after class was over, Johnny and I walked to my house. He stopped, just a few feet from my driveway, looking up at it as though it were my grave marker.

“You’re sure?” He asked, low so that Walter wouldn’t here us and come outside.

“What’s going to happen if I don’t, Johnny?” My heart thudded against my sternum. “He’ll just come looking for me.”

With that, I left my best friend standing there, watching after me, as I made my way inside. My hands balled into tight fists at my sides. There would be a new bruise tomorrow. And whether it was something that would be visible or not remained uncertain.

Inside, I walked into the kitchen and froze, looking around the dark room, wondering where my true monster was. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

“Marnie?” The dismal, gravely voice called from upstairs. I turned to look toward the direction of the icy sound that ran like daggers of ice under my skin. “Could you come up here, please?” It beckoned. “There is something…I wish to discuss with you.”